A letter to my hormones

Please do one.

 

I seriously dislike how much you weigh on top of normal emotions and how more you make them feel.
I hate feeling annoyed with my son because it is you that makes me feel that way!
It makes me so incredibly sad because I know he really is the most amazing little humanbeing out there for me and so I bite my tongue and rethink what ever the situation is and it is not fair!
One of our cats is probably ill which makes her meow allot, then the anger sets in and then you make me cry for feeling angry at my sick cat.

I am not a person who randomly cries over adverts but guess what?! You make me!!
Isn’t feeling tired with painful breasts and trying my best not to be sick after dinner enough? Can I at least keep a tiny bit of me?!
I still have to be a fulltime mum to the big brother to be!

 

So please, do one.

For the symptom spotter

We have all done it, look up symptoms on google, see why your period might be late and what comes over with other women who did turn out pregnant.
During my total months of ttc, for my son and my current pregnancy I too went crazy.
It seems that mother nature and pregnancy test factories have striked a deal to make us test when all you get is a negative result.

My non pregnancy symptoms (where I believed I was pregnant)
– Cramping (surprise surprise, perfectly normal to get that in your week before your period is due!)
– Tiredness (been up thinking/dreaming/wondering if you are?)
– Nausea (to be fair, morning sickness usually doesn’t kick in this early)
– Sore breasts (again, perfectly normal before period and usually don’t get it until a week or so late)
– Increased discharge (again fairly normal a week before period but you usually ‘dry up’ a few days before)
– Prickling tingling nipples (it’s funny how much your aware your nipples exist after reading that symptom!)
– Darkening of areolas (unless you take a picture every day you won’t see a significant change without your mind playing tricks)
– Implantation bleed (in all 3 of my pregnancies I never had this, not necessarily a sign)

My real pregnancy symptoms (where I really really was pregnant)
– Believing this was not my month
– Mid cramping a few days after ovulation (though I had no signs of ovulation so I thought that was ovulation)
– Creamy kind of discharge a week before af continuously.
– Feeling like something was stuck (and everyone called me crazy, saying it wouldn’t be possible!)

And that’s it! No more, no less.
I’m now 5w 4d and the tiredness kicked in about 4 days ago, my breasts only just started to become sensitive.
Moral of the story, please don’t google. It will always tell you are pregnant or you have a deadly disease!
Though what counts for one woman doesn’t have to be for the other, just stick with poas and results before you drive yourself crazy like I did.

Healthy food and drink abc

Almonds – contains antioxidant, vitamin E, folic acid, do I need to say more?
Banana’s – one of the greatest fruit to give when someone has loose stools.
Chamomile tea – always found in our house, its anti-inflammatory and helps loads to ease teething or lower temperature
Dark chocolate – helps lower blood pressure, improve blood flow, control blood sugar, contains antioxidants, iron, copper, magnesium, potassium.
Elderberry – boosts your immune system greatly, though easier found in stores as juice. My neighbours used to grow a great bush.
Fennel tea – helps settle stomach/indigestion cramps
Garlic – nature’s antibiotic
Haricot bean – you know, baked beans in tomato sauce? Great source of energy and yummy on toast!
I – clueless about this one, please fill me in? For now I will stick with I, listen to yourself and what your body needs
Jelly – yes it contains sugar and isn’t too healthy though another great sneaky way of boosting fluids on hot days.
Kale – one of my favourite vegetables for being high in fibre, vitamin A, C, K, iron and calcium
Lentils – low in calories yet high in nutrition, easy to put a handful in your salad
Mushrooms – funny enough these little guys are great for your bladder and contain vitamin D
Nutmeg – love sprinkling this over green beans, helps indigestion, helps relax so great in hot milk and against anxiety.
Orange – vitamin C, ever so important in your daily diet and help your immune system
Pine nuts – often overlooked as they’re pricey but rich in vitamin A, C, D, protein, magnesium, my ultimate energy boost during pregnancy.
Q – another clueless one for me, sorry.
Raspberry (leaf tea) – antioxidant, vitamin and mineral full, ORAC value (oxygen radical absorbance capacity) helps prepare body for labour
Sweet potato (yam) – Great great weaning food contains fiber, fills you up longer, helps blood sugar levels
Tomatoes – fat-free, vitamin C and prepares your skin for the sun
U – ??
Vanilla bean – how I love you, contains little bits of B complex groups, potassium which helps cell and body fluids.
Walnuts – full of omega 3, helps lower the bad form of cholesterol
X – ??
Yogurt – My every day food, obviously contains calcium, fights inner infections also may help children with intestinal absorption problems grow.
Zucchini – Antioxidant, helps digestion and aids constipation and an anti inflammatory

If found, please return..

What was I writing about again?
Oh yes, my short-term memory.. It’s gone!

I’ve been reading up about this, mainly to make sure I haven’t lost the plot, but it seems like a very common pregnancy symptom and there is no agreed stage as to when it occurs more or less.
Some say it’s the iron deficiency others say its the oxytocin, which is known to have an amnesic effect.
Though there has been one study that has shown that a woman’s brain actually shrinks in the third trimester, it shrinks! It should be going back to normal after delivering your baby and probably once finished breast-feeding.
A friend of mine who recently had her 5th child says it got worse and worse in each following pregnancy.

Researchers answers to this problem? Sleep more.. Right, that’s no hope for us who already have a toddler to take care off.
Eat spinach, remain calm (if I forget something I don’t go running around in panic thankfully) and monitor your brain shrinkage according to one website. Uhm I’m not sure how to do that bit..?
However  Australian researchers say this is all false, pregnancy brain does not exist, we do not forget or well the 1241 women they have tested (only half who became pregnant, I’m not sure why they still say 1241 as the other half, no offence, but they didn’t count) have had the same test outcomes as before they fell pregnant in a 4 year period.
Now what I also wonder is if they got to sit down and do the same test before and after falling pregnant?
How does this effect short-term memory? Have they been asked how their every day life has been affected, it’s not mentioned.
They claim that its purely being tired make you forget the occasional thing and stop blaming forgetting those things on so-called ‘pregnancy brain’

Here is my small list of the past couple of weeks;
I have forgotten to do half of my weekly shopping, no biggie that one, except that I did have to return to a store to get tea.
Once I got in the store with my toddler I forgot what I needed, I have walked every aisle besides the sweet aisle and in the end I got a loaf of bread. Coming home I still didn’t remember until I tried to make tea, the same cuppa where I forgot to put a cup under my kettle and tried to make without a teabag?!!
The next day we returned to the store needing to get tea and (I’m actually trying to think what the other thing was for the last 10 minutes) I give up, it was something small. Anyway I got back with bread and an apple to keep little one happy.
I now have three loaves of bread that I did not need.

The next is just plain stupid to me, I had to make dinner for Alex and I peeled the carrots, had my pan of water on the fire and I put the fish fingers in the pan and the carrots in the oven.

I keep making double appointments even if I made the first an hour or so before I made other.

I forget where I was talking about mid sentence

That is it, it’s not much but let’s not forget I only found out I’m pregnant since Tuesday..
I had this ‘lack of short-term memory brain’ really bad in my third trimester with Alex, I do wonder now if my house will still be here in 9 months time, will it be covered in post its? We shall see.

I really really am..

I am still flabbergasted over this..

I am really pregnant, that little ball I felt really was the start!

Oh my god!

I am scared and stupidly grinning the entire day.
Yesterday I tested quite faint and as it was a test I never used or heard off I didn’t want to get my hopes up like I had the last month. Off to the shop we went, I got a double cheap own brand and a digital one.
Yes I am a bit test crazy!
I waited for another couple of hours once we got back home and tried to keep distracted by doing some colouring with Alex.
He absolutely dislikes it when I draw his head round, no idea why haha.
Distraction didn’t really work so I decided to use one of the cheap home brand ones and o my, it was another faint!
This is where I slightly started to believe it but I decided not to tell my partner yet, I needed more..

In the morning I caught my wee in a plastic cup and dipped both the home brand and the digital in.
I thought I might aswell go all in or I will use the left over test on my next wee anyway.
I walked away to make my morning cuppa and came back 4 minutes later, YES! I thicker line on the home brand!
I turned the digital and it was still blinking.. Hurry up!!
It felt like forever but in probably less than 30 seconds it surely did bleep with big capital letters; PREGNANT

Wow, I am pregnant..

To all whom read, you know before my partner as he had important meeting and I couldn’t do this over the phone.
So I got him a card that was in the shape of a ticket saying; you have front row seats for the best show this year!
Inside there is a cut out double line, a big congratulations in the middle, followed by ‘you really do have super sperm’
It’s a little joke and hopefully break the ice of his own ‘oh my’ moment.

I am excited, I am scared, I wish I could have my scan soon to make sure all is fine.

For now I think I’ll just come to terms that I really really am pregnant.. wow..

Today was the day

That Alex woke me up at 5.11am and kindly asked me to ‘get up now please’
I snuggled him into my bed though and had some lovely cuddles for 10 minutes followed by a kick in the bladder and really having the need to get up!
As I promised my old ttc buddy of last year I would live stream with her via skype I had to save my morning wee in a cup, lovely..
I am still half sleep drunk and well this was the result of my test;

super super faint, do I trust it? Not really..
Its one day before my period should come so today I will pick up some digital ones, so I can either read; ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’
It’s funny as I was convinced for the last couple of days that I would get a clear negative test, why can’t something like this be clear?! Aaaargh..
Frustration until the morning, that is for sure! Dammit why did I cancel my pregnancy test with my online shopping for today?! So freaking typical, right when you need more, and breath..

Ps I really need to re-do that window sealing stuff.. Its got tons of little cracks in it!

*retested again this afternoon (damn you impatience!) and got another faint line, starting to get a bit excited now 🙂

Toddlerhood

My day today began with Alex proudly walking into our bedroom.
We took the sides of his cot off last week and now when he’s up he calls me to let me know he is awake and then asks if he can get up. It is sooooo cute, completely makes me melt!
10 minutes later he had his first tantrum.. Oh the joys of toddlerhood!
His tantrum was about me asking him if he would like (chamomile) tea or warm milk.. It lasted over 20 minutes!
Only for him to walk in the kitchen, like nothing happened and asked for tea.

As he was having ‘one of them days’ I thought its best to keep him busy to prevent more major mood swings.
So we went for a good walk, watching birds, stamping in the mud, picking up sticks and stones and just breath.
It did us both good but unfortunately we had to cut it a bit short as its freezing cold here for April!

Walking home, all went well, arriving in the flat, not so..
All the sudden he realised we would have to go inside and he decided to disagree and wanting to camp out on the hallway, screaming his head off. Lovely.
I picked him up, he went all floppy trying his best to get back down, I put him on time out, he screamed louder, I ignored him, he gave up. Serious mummy v toddler battles! But mummy has won again, phew..

For the afternoon I planned on baking some orange chocolate cupcakes together as he usually loves to help me in the kitchen preparing food or baking and making everything messy. Not today, you can probably guess where that lead to.
He ran off in tears and plonked himself down on the bed crying on his pillow, quite the drama queen today.
It gave me some time to do my housework and I decided to put him in the bath before dinner to try to snap him out of his mood and thankfully it helped.

The awesome notes on Alex, he is turning more and more into his own little person with this great affection towards all animals!
He is finding his independence and loves to take a break of mummy and playing on his own, making different voices for each character he plays with.
He tells me what he has seen on tv or outside, making these big gestures with his arms and stamping his feet trying to explain best he can.
He is asking when we are getting a baby Connor (his latest cousin) which triples my broodyness each time.
The list can go on and on but I wont bore you all with that 😉

He’s in bed now and to be honest I am quite happy to catch my breath and prepare for tomorrows busy day 🙂
So that was my day outside ttc, as difficult as it gets something, the good so much outweighs the bad!