Becoming a mum for the second time

The biggest transition made is becoming a mum.
The biggest transition made is becoming a mum of two..
The biggest transition made is becoming a mum of three…
The biggest transition……… You get my point!

 

 

Becoming a second time mum for me was scary.
‘What will Alex thing, how will this affect our family life, how will this all work out’

 

 

Giving birth was amaaazing, honestly, I kid you not, it was actually good (read more about that journey here)
Taking home baby was longed for, breastfeeding was pretty easy and Alex loved giving Logan cuddles.

 

So how did my life change? What actually changed?

 

 

Well for starters I stopped listening to all the magazines and ‘experts’ that tell you how to raise your child.
I have tuned in to my intuition allot more and ask for advice in a small group of friends who have similar ideas in upbringing.

 

I carry Logan around in the awesome Beco Soleil (product review coming soon!)  each day and rarely have him in a buggy.
I can’t tell you how disconnected I feel from him when I put him in there.

We’ve also proudly breastfed in public.
Something I never did with Alex, I was scared of people staring, having an opinion and the need to express it (we’ve all read the horror stories)
But as Logan flat-out refuses expressed bottles we have no other choice then to feed, whenever, wherever.

First time was pretty awkward, in a small waiting room of the Dutch embassy filled with people (talking about taking the plunge!)

Second time, the natural history museum, they do have pretty awesome feeding rooms with comfortable chairs.

And the third time in a kids café (café with separated area for toddlers and babies to play) that was pretty interesting as quite a few kids were curious as to what I was doing.

All these times I can honestly say, I have never felt judged, I might not have always felt comfortable but I did it with confident!

 

Last but not least, I enjoy it as much as I can this time.
Of course I enjoyed Alex being little too, don’t get me wrong, but this time its different.
There is no rush, or excitement towards seeing the next step of development, there is just now.
Being here in the present together, enjoying each other, having those cuddles when he wants it.
Laying next to each other and just babbling over nothing and just looking at his reactions.

 

 

 
I think every child being born into a family makes a big change.
You learn something new every time around, you change the things you’ve done the first time on the second time.
You set your mistakes straight and make new ones along the road.

Our birth story

In the early hours of December 23rd (02.50) I was woken for my usual midnight toilet visit.
For the past few days I have been wishing and hoping to wake up whilst my waters broke, knowing time was there.

 

Nothing.. Nothing but some tightening’s, Braxton hicks?
Hmm.. They were a bit more intense than they have been.
So for the sake of it I got my contraction timer out on my phone.
5 minutes apart and lasting 20sec from the start it gave me an alert to start moving to the hospital.

 

After a lot of talking the other half still wasn’t comfortable with a home birth.
He felt nervous about it even after a lot of research, therefore I decided a hospital water birth it would be.
As there is nothing worse than a birthing partner who is panicking.

 

After about half an hour the time of the contractions now lasted 30 seconds.
Time to wake up my partner (his mother was staying with us to watch over Alex)
‘Are you sure it’s time’ he said half asleep.
‘Yes, really! Time to call your uncle, I have to call the hospital to let them know we are coming’

 

I called the hospital and got asked if I could wait any longer at home.
I told her I felt it really was time and would feel more comfortable if someone could check me over, if it was not progressing I would be happy to return home.
‘Ok, come on in then’

 

As I was getting ready I assumed he called his uncle who now was on his way.
Guess again.. This didn’t happen.. He was to drowsy to understand what was happening.
‘Do you want me to call a cab now?’ he said whilst I was breathing away using the hypno birthing technique and breathing in the clary sage oil.
‘Yes! We need to leave now!’

Around 4am the cab driver arrived and my contractions were getting allot more intense.
As I wriggled around in the front seat, trying my best to suppress the need to moan loudly I started to rethink my birthplan.
Maybe a drug-free birth wasn’t such a great idea after all.

 

As we arrived to the hospital we had to walk the longest walk ever to the birthing suite.
I had to stop every 2 minutes and stopped being quiet. Moaning loudly helped me get through the pain and in all honesty, I didn’t feel like I had a lot of control over it.
As we got to the front desk the midwife kindly requested a wee sample to make sure everything was ok.
In the toilet I went.
Pee, ok.. Just pee in the pot like you’ve been doing allot during your pregnancy.. Just pee.
Oh come on! How difficult is it to Aaaaaaaah! Don’t pee, don’t pee! Trying to pee gives me intense contractions!
Ok.. One more try, come try, it’s ok, maybe it wont come now. Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Ok, no pee!

 

 

I came back out of the toilet without my sample and told her I couldn’t do it.
She said it was ok, hop on the table and see how far along you are.
Damn another contraction.. Breath.. Breath… You can do this..
As she wriggled her fingers about I kind of yelled at her saying ‘screw the birthplan, give me my epidural!!’
In the back of my mind a little voice said ‘this might well be the transition stage before your about to push’
‘I’m sorry my darling, it’s too late for an epidural, your 8cm, we have to move you to the delivery room’

 

I got in a wheelchair and rolled down to the delivery room.
‘Do you want to get back on the bed?’
As I stood up from the wheelchair a big pop happened and my waters were everywhere.
With that I had the ever so intense feeling to push.
Nope.. I’m not getting on that bed anytime soon. On my knees on the floor felt good, I’m not moving.
‘Ok, if you’re not getting on the bed let me get some mats to put on the floor and a chair you can hang over’
(Now that is some good midwifery)
As I pushed my partner had to try his best to keep the chair in its place.
I felt babies head nearly pop out but he shot back in by the end of my contraction.
That feeling I really did not want to feel again!
‘Push with your next contraction!’
‘Now gentle.. Gentle.. Your going too fast!’
‘His head is out, breath! Don’t push yet!’

 

Too late..

There he was.. My little baby boy, born at 4.55am 2 hours and 5 minutes after my first contraction that woke me up.
We stayed connected until the cord stopped pulsing which is when daddy cut the cord through.

He is perfect. He is mine. He is called Logan and we love him ever so dearly.

 

It was a sacred time, all of it.
No drugs, not even gas and air.

 

 

On my next blog; birthing the placenta and what happened did after.